Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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