what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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