Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
birth control should be required to get into college
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
