More tranny stories later!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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