he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
