The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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