Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize