If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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