I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
