Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize