I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
