I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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