At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Randomize
