shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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