Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
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The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
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He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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