OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
