I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
