Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
