Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
