my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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