After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
