are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
