Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
