you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
