My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
the liver wants what the liver wants
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
