ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
