1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
