Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize