Tell her she can't have a vagina
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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