it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Found your dick twin last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize