But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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