are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
