ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
