What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
