I didn't shave. On purpose
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize
