she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
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What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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