i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
