hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize