the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
they need to just BURY HIM!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
