is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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