Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
