As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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