Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
