Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My liver just had a heart attack.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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