Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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