I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
