I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
