You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
