i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I will be naked everywhere
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
