I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
