ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
