I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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