i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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