There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
