don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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