you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...