"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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