Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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