the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
