he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
