I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
