So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
