And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
soo... how was my night?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
