Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
