I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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