my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
