Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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