no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
