he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
