your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
