In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
