I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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