Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
