Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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